Go Ahead, My Lovely, Roll The Damn Dice

My oldest child, bless his heart, is the youngest of his friends. Many of MY friends will remember that this, too, was my cross to bear back in high school. I was a July baby with the luxury/misfortune (some said po-TAY-toh, others said po-TAH-toh) of skipping a grade early on so I was a 16-year-old high school graduate. Jay was also a July baby who started at age 6 (with no luxury/misfortune of skipping a grade) so he was 18 when he graduated. Ryan is also a July baby, so when he was  young we argued a LOT about whether he should start school at 5 or 6. He was very, very smart, quick to learn, and very sociable. There was no obvious reason to keep him home an extra year (my argument). No worries about LATER when he would be smaller, younger, less mature (Jay's argument). I scoffed at the idea (which sounds a lot like snorting) and knew with his dad's athleticism and my brains, the kid would be fine.

Ten years later, we knew we'd fucked up. He was smaller. He was younger. He was less mature. And what's worse was HE knew it, too. But he wasn't small enough or young enough or immature enough to allow a redo. No, he was already fully enmeshed in the system and had to continue this ride to its end....as a 17-year-old high school graduate.

He's really been feeling the difference now that his friends are all turning 18. So in a particularly 17-year-old mood, he was griping the other day about how he's sick of being the youngest. Feeling very wise that he came to ME since we had this in common, I tried to provide some mothering comfort. This doesn't come easy, so I was especially proud of myself. "What difference does it make? It's not like there's anything super amazing you can suddenly do when you hit 18 other than join the military or vote." He looked at me with that teenager Is my mother REALLY this dumb? look and said, "Uh, yeah there is. I can go to the casino."

Ahhhh - the casino. This is the one and only thing he can't do that his friends can AND do often - go to the casino. It's not just a What happens in Vegas mentality anymore. The allowance of casinos in just about every state nowadays allows for the dream of a pot of gold for teenagers everywhere once they hit 18. Seriously. They think they're getting a pot of gold at the casino. My son loves to share stories of his friends making money at the casino. I think they're probably not telling him the part about LOSING money at the casino, too, because what teenager's admitting to THAT part?

The more he talked about everyone going all the time and all the money they're winning, the more concerned I got. I've never had a problem with casinos....until now. I realized how really uncomfortable it makes me to think of my son among gamblers, cigarettes, stinky old people, and money. My child can barely grasp basic algebra. This child thinks he'll reach his goal of saving $600 for a car accessory in a couple of month, though he only saves $50 twice a month. This is the same child who still can't figure out when he puts gas in his car, he has to MENTALLY subtract that money from his balance even if it takes the charge a few days to go through. Gambling is a dangerous toy, no different than alcohol and drugs. So why are 18-year-old men-children allowed to do this?

I tried to put these thoughts into teen speak so he might understand, but as usual, he's convinced he's right and I'm wrong (he gets that from his dad, obviously). My arguments were incapable of convincing him of the possibility that he might not be mentally or emotionally mature enough to handle gambling and all its dangers. He felt full of common sense, and I felt he was full of....not common sense.

His victory was very short lived. Not even 5 minutes later, he yells to me, "Mom! This sourdough bread is hard as a rock. What should I do with it?" I said, "Throw it out." Him: "Oh. Okay." Like it never even occurred to him.

THIS is why he can't go to the casino. The common sense God gave a goose is NOT good odds for anyone. I don't gamble, but even I'd bet the house on that.