Jay has been hellbent on turning our house into a really nicely decorated home. The thrill of knowing we won't be picking up and moving again is a luxury he has been denied for, well, ever (or at least since his life/death/hell with me began so long ago). We've spent our entire marriage being gypsies. My kids have gone to more schools than military brats. We've moved, moved again, and moved again more times than even I can count. When some website wants me to "prove" myself by asking me multiple choice questions, inevitably one is, "Which of these addresses did you once live at?" and I honestly don't have a clue.
So today my UPS guy is going to hate me even more than he already does (my dogs want to eat him and he, interestingly, does not seem cool with that concept). Today my weekend Amazon orders arrive and include three area rugs and a TV stand. This after he had to deliver a basketball hoop and computer last week. No, we're not running a pawn shop or fencing stolen goods (or ARE we?). We got a decent tax return for the first time ever and are jumping on the opportunity to do some basic updates that we've been putting off since we moved in.
Like curtains. Until now, we had curtains in two rooms, and neither of those were bathrooms. I've always been perfectly fine changing my clothes in front of whoever wants to see. It drives Jay nuts, not because he's jealous or possessive of his wife's bodacious bod, but because he worries the neighbors are already figuring out they let the wrong people into their nice community. I, however, don't care. I figure if someone across the pond is sitting there at 10 o'clock at night with binoculars, whatever. I'm not doing a strip tease (except maybe if Jay's still awake) but lookers have to get their jollies somewhere. Plus, I'm pretty sure once they figure out there's no Victoria's Secret catwalk going on, they'll put their binoculars away for good and hope the burning eye pain goes away soon.
Last night when we were in bed, Jay said, "You're never going to close the curtains, are you? Even though we have brand new, really nice curtains, you're just gonna leave them pulled back exactly as they are forever." I said, "Yep, pretty much." He said, "Then what was the point?" I said, "The point was that they look pretty to ME from the inside. That's what's important. I don't give a shit what it looks like from out THERE. If the neighbors don't like the way the outside of our house looks, then maybe THEY should get their OWN curtains."
He didn't anwer, but then again, he could've already been asleep long before I finished talking.
Queen of my own Magic Kingdom, full of all the irreverent, obnoxious, and sometimes offensive sarcasm you know and love. I don't care what people think of me, but I do care if you like my blog. Read, forward, repeat.
