For Easter dinner this year, I decided to forgo a hugely complicated meal and stuck with something easy but fun - Seafood. We had cocktail shrimp, coconut shrimp, and crab legs. We'd been looking forward to it all week. Right as I got ready to fix dinner, Branden wanted to play with his friends. I told him dinner would be done really quick, but even I can see that his mental scale weighing the idea of a favorite dinner versus the chance to play outside with his good friends never even had a chance at balance. So it was dinner for 4, and it was excellent.
Two hours later, the little one is home and starving. As any woman who eats seafood, particularly shelfish, knows, you CANNOT get that smell out from under your fingernails. Reminiscent of the SNL skit with Molly Shannon's Mary Catherine Gallagher, the scent of the sea is a very hard to remove scent. So.....since I had already showered and deskunked my own hands, I had absolutely no desire to hop on that funky train again. Jay was in charge of cracking the crab legs for Branden, and when they were done, he had eaten well over a pound all by himself. He probably ate more than the rest of us. It was pretty damn impressive.
Fast forward to this morning, before school. "Mom, can I take crab legs in my lunch?"
All I can think is thank God we had the sense to dump the leftovers last night or I'm sure it wouldn't have even been a question. I just would've found the leftover shells deep in his backpack in about a month, making the backpack, my son, his bus, and his entire school smell like chum. I'm sure I'd hear about it sooner, though. I can only picture the teachers in the cafeteria watching this little boy ripping and tearing his way through a pokey tough claw, brandishing the spiky claws and pointing them at little kindergarteners, and finding several kids who sat too close getting pelted with wet pieces of crab and shell as they get shot off in the air like a slingshot. I have to admit the thought of it all was very tempting for a few seconds, even just to have the school call me and get to hear the words, "Your son brought crabs to our school!" but.....common sense (or my version of it) won out in the end. This was not to be his most ridiculous act just yet. Not today, young grasshoper. Not today.
Queen of my own Magic Kingdom, full of all the irreverent, obnoxious, and sometimes offensive sarcasm you know and love. I don't care what people think of me, but I do care if you like my blog. Read, forward, repeat.
