The Claws Come Out pt. 2

My husband is up at 5 a.m. every day. Weekdays, weekends, holidays, you name it. He's an early riser. I, however, care not if I miss an early worm and prefer to sleep as long as I'm able, rising only when a cat won't stop meowing outside my door, my son's indoor basketball bounces off my wall one time too many, or I've already used every single sleeping position to try to ignore my need to pee without any success.

Jay & I have always had a really good holiday system. I get all the stuff ready the night before after the kids are in bed, and he puts it out in the morning. This works for Christmas stockings, Valentine's candy, and Easter.

As most of you know, my youngest is now 11, and while he won't come right out and say it, we're about 99% certain he knows the Easter Bunny is a hoax. But as parents, you know you can't ever come right out and acknowledge it. No, you have to look away from that elephant in the room (interesting how the imaginary elephant is representative of an imaginary bunny in this context) and it has to be the child's words utttered of free will:

Mom? Dad? I know there's no Easter Bunny.

Unfortunately, some kids, whether they be very dense or very stealthy, will not give the official breakup to their parents. No, they string us along with their "I'll call you" and "I just need some space" hints that they're heading towards a breakup, but never a solid clean break. So he's still playing me just a bit, leading me on with his sly little remarks about the Easter Bunny, and as his sarcasm gets stronger, my own ability to come clean is shaken. We're straddling that fence of innocence, so it's a very tricky, carefully planned move from here on.

On this Easter, my husband overslept by a LONG shot with a bad sinus headache. Branden was up at the crack of dawn as usual, and as he came in to get the puppy he told me, "Mom, the Easter Bunny didn't come." Half asleep and trying to figure out what he just said, I mumbled, "What bunny what?" He said, "The Easter Bunny didn't come last night." Starting to wake up but really not wanting to if this is the conversation we're having, I said, "I'm sure you're wrong" (when in sleep-haze and unable to process thoughts, it's easiest to just use the you're wrong argument). He said, "There's nothing out." I said, "Where's your dad?" (starting to realize that somehow, during the night our carefully crafted system had broken down in an unexpected way). "He's sleeping in the extra room." I pretend to go back to sleep and tell him, "We'll ask him when he gets up."

I then waited to hear him go outside with the dogs, and I grabbed the bag w/their stuff and ran downstairs and set them out at their place settings as fast as I could, then ran back up and got back into bed. When he came back in he was very skeptical "Mom, where'd this come from?" Pretending to be asleep again, I said "What? What stuff?" "Mom, the Easter Bunny didn't just come while I was outside." I said, "Actually, I'm sure that's EXACTLY what happened. We were probably one of his very last stops last night and you got up too early and he had to hide until you couldn't see him, then he finished his work and left super fast." (Mentally cursing myself for continuing to add to the lies when this could finally be my chance to come clean.) I wait to see which way the verdict will go, and then I hear......"Yeah, I think I saw him driving off." I'm sure in his mind, the thought of a rabbit driving a car and sneaking in our house to drop off candy and money ('cuz that's what he was "asked" to bring last week) is only a tad more believable than the thought that his mom was able to do anything sneaky that early in the morning.

SIGH. This kid is totally playing me. I know it. He knows it. The Easter Bunny knows it. But it's still his move until he actually moves out, so for now we're not off the hook just yet.