The Junk In My Dog's Trunk

This is why being a pet owner is so much fun. Rarely will I advocate (or admit) that having more than one pet can be fun. It ups the chance of seeing something stupidly funny. With one pet, you usually have to sit around all day and stare at it before you get something good. With a mini-zoo, it's pretty much stake out a corner whenever you're bored and just wait for it. Wait for it......... 

My cat fell off the second-floor stairs. I did not witness this, but Jay said it's true and I have to believe it was a fall and not a deliberate push. One of Little Dude's favorite games is to race ahead of someone up the stairs, jump up on the ledge, and be there waiting when you get there. He always wins, and he always says so. He is also very Cirque du Soleil in his ability to turn, jump, rub, and do almost anything on this 5-inch wide ledge. He is Mary Lou Retton with more grace and longer legs. So all of this makes it that much funnier when he fell, which is okay to be laughing at because cats are even more graceful in their falls. Down he went, but by the time Jay could look down, he was on his feet downstairs looking back up at him. (Possibly flipping him off, too, but that's just tough to tell from that far away.) He was a bit skittish about the "race you to the top" game a few times after that, but he's already back on his ledge and already back on his game. He knows it probably cost him 1 life, but he said it was worth it.

My dog, while unable (or just unwilling) to be dropped from up high, is still hilarious about where he sleeps. When we got the puppy, I went psycho at Petsmart, buying every style of dog bed I could find in the hopes of making my precious little Pups super comfy. I bought a squarish padded house (only $10 if Jay asks) that looked like a mini padded psychiatric room. He passed on it, and now it belongs to the cats. I bought a huge round open padded bed with a paw print in the middle (that apparently means "sleep here" in Puppynese). It also went to the cats. As did every other sleeping product I bought until Jay finally suggested I give up. (Actually, it might've been more like, "Stop buying shit for that stupid dog. He WON'T use it!")

Wanna know where my sweet little puppy sleeps all day, every day? Other than his nighttime kennel, he sleeps curled up in the bliss of Ginger's poofy tail. My baby pup sleeps in buttfur. The second Ginger lies down, Puppy gets himself all arranged in her humongous pouf and drifts off to dreamland. She can get annoyed and keep getting up and moving somewhere else, but he just gives her that sad puppy face and trots over to get back up in there. It's almost a perfect yin and yang, except she's huge and fluffy and he's nothing more than a little black & white dingleberry stuck to her ass.

And finally, there was the "did she or didn't she run away?" excitement we had last week when Donald the cat busted out of solitary. She could have been either somewhere in the house (hiding) or somewhere in the garage (hiding). Since her chances of making it over the razor wire and past the guard towers were nil, we had to find the idiot fast. If she was in the garage, she'd freeze to death. If she was in the house, she'd pee on my carpet in whatever dark corner she'd burrowed herself into (and be sentenced to the death penalty). She is the ultimate hideycat, and the task was truly daunting. Lucky for me, she reponded to a few hours of thinking about the stupidity of what she'd done (in cat think that equates to, "Shit. No food.") and the sound of my voice gently coaxing her stupid ass out of hiding. Where the breech is, we still don't know, but we can only hope she tries again in the spring when it's warmer so we don't have to feel quite so guilty if she makes her clean getaway.