I've always been fascinated by animals. I especially love baby animals (who doesn't?) but I've found each time I get one, they grow into adults, and the end of my fascination is heartbreaking. Most of my pets are still adorable even as adults, but they just don't keep that fuzzy, fluffy, playful cuteness they had as babies. My kids are the same way, but I have yet to see one who comes with a return/exchange policy.
I would love to have my own zoo, but what I really want are miniature animals. They don't need to stay babies forever, but.....if they could just stay as SMALL as they are when babies, that would be the best zoo ever. The thought of real mini penguins and polar bears out in my pond just warms my heart. I could fill the backyard with mini rhinos and hippos and giraffes and alpacas. (You might hear a lot about alpacas - they're my new obsession. There's a farm down the street and I'm dying to know what one costs.) I could have a mini panther wrestling with a mini wolf. No one would have to worry about being endangered because I could keep several of them in my backyard with plenty of room. (My neighbors would have to accept the spillover into their own yards because I will claim wildlife refuge and who would be selfish enough to try to disrupt THAT??). I could look out my window and see seals playing in the water and a lion stalking the giraffe (though it would all be for funsies - the scientific process of miniaturizing them will remove all traces of predatory behavior from their species so they will all enjoy each other's company and eat group dinners of Fancy Feast and Kibbles 'N Bits without the slightest hint that their new friends might be equally edible).
I know if modern science would quit trying to make MORE of us and focus instead on making MINIATURES of us (technically not us, midgets aren't nearly as adorable as miniature animals would be) then think how much more it will mean on Take Your Pet to Work Day??? How easy would it be to plan parties? Who wouldn't want to come home each night just to hang with the zoo family? If anyone is already a brilliant scientist and is willing to make this happen for me, let me know right away 'cuz I think those alpacas might be Buy 1 Get 1 Free right now.
Queen of my own Magic Kingdom, full of all the irreverent, obnoxious, and sometimes offensive sarcasm you know and love. I don't care what people think of me, but I do care if you like my blog. Read, forward, repeat.
