Please, please, please, I beg all of you, for the love of your Queen, do not make me look at pictures of feet. Even people who have nice feet, I still don't want to see them because the first thing I do is look really closely at a foot picture to see if someone has hideous feet (most people do). When I find feet that are not quite so burning to the retinas, this doesn't make me feel better, it just brings a tiny sense of relief. This is even more offensive than the Ugly Public Children. I have a serious disgust of feet. Not a phobia, that's reserved for important things like bees. This is equal to Jay's fear of toothpaste (and moreover, his fear of having to watch me brush and/or trying to kiss him with toothpaste breath).
I. Do. Not. Like. Feet. I don't even understand why we need them. Why can't we just have cloved hooves like cows or cute little bird twigs? I especially hate when I'm in a public restroom stall and on the other side of me are nasty fatty pig feet just spilling over flip flops all over the gross peed on floor. And please stop putting clever pedicures on your toesies. A French manicure is never attractive on feet. Never. Ever. That means your toenails are so long that you'll be able to climb trees soon with your sloth-like gross appendages. And there is not much uglier in the world than a picture of a beautiful model with buniony nasty feet. I don't care if you want to show off your new pedicure or you broke your toe or you're showing off that you're on vacation somewhere on a sandy beach (if you don't think anyone wants to see a picture of you in swimwear, then why do you think your feet are an acceptable substitution?). And MOST important of all....if you have a foot "oddity" (I won't discuss them further in detail, but if you have one, you know what I'm talking about AND that I'm talking to you) KEEP those circus feet socked and shoed at all times!
The only exception are baby/toddler feet. They are adorable and may be publicly displayed until you can determine "whose" feet of the parents they resemble. That means they're looking more like adult ugly feet and need some socks, pronto. And while we're on THAT subject, N-O to the toe socks. And HELL no to the skeletoes. We're trying to move AWAY from the resemblence to feet. Doesn't anyone listen?
Some people (myself included, my husband and two of my childred excluded) have perfectly nice feet. But I am willing to keep them out of the public eye for the sake of being fair to everyone. No feet is a good feat. For everyone, people.
Queen of my own Magic Kingdom, full of all the irreverent, obnoxious, and sometimes offensive sarcasm you know and love. I don't care what people think of me, but I do care if you like my blog. Read, forward, repeat.
