Being an insomniac married to an early bird, our evenings usually end in bed w/me watching as much junk TV as possible and Jay w/a pillow over his face getting ready to fall into his slumbering snoring state. But....before he drifts off into his death rattle, he listens with me for a bit. Last night a commercial was on for a new type of Trojan condom called bareskin. I asked him, "Should we go back to the condom phase so you can see how much better they are now?" That's when he realized the ad was for bareskin, not bearskin condoms, and these were his half-asleep thoughts on wearing an actual BEARSKIN condom:
It probably feels even better than bareskin.
Don't poke it with a stick.
Might smell like salmon.
Don't climb a tree to get away.
Might find yourself rummaging through trash.
And my personal favorite....
Just lie there and play dead.
Queen of my own Magic Kingdom, full of all the irreverent, obnoxious, and sometimes offensive sarcasm you know and love. I don't care what people think of me, but I do care if you like my blog. Read, forward, repeat.
