My family is farming more often than they are mafia'ing. Jay tried to convince me to farm. Nope. Not interested. It's stupid. They keep sending me gifts anyway. I ignore them. I get little kids looking over my shoulder. "Mom, you have 3 Farmville gifts. Why don't you accept them?" Ummm....maybe because I'm busy killing people and gathering weapons, and I'm not a stupid ass farmer??? Kids can be really dense.
So finally I said, fine, show me this stupid Farmville crap. I lasted an entire 30 seconds with Jay trying to teach me in his crappy way.
"Click that" he says, pointing to a vague area at the bottom of the screen where there are about 12 different icons.
"Click WHAT?"
"Click THAT!"
"What the hell are you talking about??"
"Click the plow icon. You need to plow your field."
"You're a really shitty teacher. Thank God you never went back to school and got a teaching degree like you always dreamed of because you would really suck at it and little kids would all flunk out and become criminals because of you. Now what do I do?"
"Now go buy seeds and plant something."
"Are you kidding me? That's it? I'm done? What the hell? This is bullshit! What a waste of time and WHAT is that stupid ass music? Is this a frickin' hoedown? Screw this. I'm done farming. I'm going back to my mafia game."
The next day, I started farming.
Queen of my own Magic Kingdom, full of all the irreverent, obnoxious, and sometimes offensive sarcasm you know and love. I don't care what people think of me, but I do care if you like my blog. Read, forward, repeat.
