First, I have to very clearly state that I am NOT looking for black people or other people of color to be my new best friends. I don't expect or want any 'atta girl' and I have no desire to be seen as a doer or a voice of any kind. This is MY voice only.
Second, I'm not looking for a new crown to show I'm brilliant and tolerant. I've got a crown, I am brilliant, but I only know what I know, which is nowhere close to being brilliant.
I've belonged to a women's group for almost a year. We suffer at the acts of men, mostly white men, who tell us what we can and cannot due for no reason other than we're women. We celebrate our uniqueness, every quality that makes us women and makes us worthy and beautiful. More than that, though, we strive each and every day to come together and SUPPORT each other, and that absolutely includes accepting our white privilege and learning how we can overcome that and move forward.
In the beginning, I fought it. HARD. Whenever I saw it brought up, I got angry. These people don't know me. They can't assume who or what I am. I was ANGRY. Am I not here trying every day to be different, helpful, supportive? How am I privileged? What have I done to make black women (or other women of color) resent me? Am I not sympathetic, loving, helpful? Do I not condone the negative actions of white men, white women, ANY person who is hateful to another for no reason other than their color? Do I not want, no NEED, for black women to succeed just as equally as white women succeed? White women have overcome oppression, degradation, and humiliation for DECADES. How does that make me different or insensitive to the same acts women of color are facing now?
Trust me when I say it took a LONG time for me to realize that the privilege I have as a white woman has NOTHING to do with my attitude or my desires or my need to be equal with POC. It had EVERYTHING to do with accepting what I have for no reason other than the color of my skin, and trying - not always succeeding - but trying like crazy to help all the women of the world to be equally successful.
The only way I can relate this is by referring to a popular show, The Walking Dead. At the end of season 1, a renowned CDC scientist whispers in the ear of the main character, Rick. The secret is enough to cause the CDC genius to buy a first-class ticket OUT and enough to astound Rick, enough so that he keeps it to himself all the way until the end of season 2, where he finally shares it with everyone - white, black, Latino- everyone. And his secret is as important as it is inevitable. He learns (and eventually shares) that EVERYONE in the word is secretly infected with the zombie virus, and no matter what you do, when you die you will reanimate with the virus. Until that point, everyone had thought it was preventable, but from that point, there was a sense of doom and hopelessness, even more so than living in a zombie apocalapsye.
THAT is what I'm talking about. There is ZERO shame in accepting that we ALL have white privilege. It's nothing we've deliberately done, it's nothing we DIDN'T do, it's nothing we caused. IT'S. JUST. THERE.
By that same argument, I've also been talking a lot about sin. Yes, we can sin and be forgiven, but the truth is that we are ALL - as Christians - born with sin. How we accept that, address it, and work every single day to eliminate it - though never entirely so - is what separates us from those who embrace their sin or refuse to accept its presence.
I saw an argument yesterday on another person's page, and it saddened me. A very intelligent woman refused to budge one inch to admit that SHE had WP. The very intelligent woman on the other side of the argument WAS a POC and was trying (unsuccessfully) to explain how white privilege is just THERE. You don't cause it. You don't bring it on. You don't do anything to GET it. If you are white, IT IS JUST THERE.
As an aside, I personally LOVE horror movies. I watch them all, whether they're commercial flops or indie surprise winners. But since horror movies scare the bejeezus out of me, I have ONE longstanding rule that keeps me from sleeping with the lights on. I watch movies that are preposterous and absolutely impossible for it to really happen to me. That means I love Jaws because I don't live near the ocean, I don't go in large bodies of water, and I never, ever swim in ANYTHING where I can't see the bottom. I can watch Friday the 13th because I never, ever go camping. And so on. If the movie can't possibly happen to me, I can watch it without fear.
But.....when it comes to racism and white privilege, this does no good. In fact, it's the reason why so many women refuse to believe it affects them. I don't say horrible things about POC so I can't have white privilege. I don't have any say in hiring or firing, so if a POC finds herself without a job, it had nothing to do with me. Hell, if my child wanted to DATE a POC, I'd be 100% supportive, unlike OTHER people who would have nothing to do with it.
Does this mean my privilege is gone or nonexistent? A more ludicrous statement could NOT be made. White privilege is NOT action. It is a FACT. We are born with it and we have it, not unlike all the people with the zombie virus or with sin. It's nothing negative against us. IT JUST IS. How we react to it, how we treat others, how we attempt to overcome it and stand up for our fellow people - even while we accept that we were BORN with it and can't erase it by doing good deeds - is how we move forward. We have to STOP being defensive, stop being angry, start accepting it for what it is, and start accepting that we have a LOT of work to do to gradually eliminate as much as we can, but in the meantime do EVERYTHING we can to show POC that we understand we have it, we hate it, and we want it GONE so we can do everything to support them.
I am a white person. I have white privilege. I want people of color to succeed in EVERY possible way. I want to eliminate all of the opposition they face for NO other reason than the color of their skin. I also want to acknowledge that I'm not perfect, I'm not superior, and I have a lot of learning and growing to do in the meantime.
Until that happens, we will never be part of the solution and always, always part of the problem.
Queen of my own Magic Kingdom, full of all the irreverent, obnoxious, and sometimes offensive sarcasm you know and love. I don't care what people think of me, but I do care if you like my blog. Read, forward, repeat.
