Don't Cry For Me, Romania!

I know I've really been bitching at everyone to be better blog followers. I've been really pushing each and every one of you to cater to me, and I'm very, very pleased at how well you respond. But.....I don't want you to get cocky and think, Oh good, now she's not stalking me anymore and I can skip her blog a day or two. This is not good. The only way to truly be true to me and to yourself (but mostly to me) is by following my blog one day at a time. To give you the inspiration you obviously need, I shall tell you about my Romanian. 

Every now and then I check out my blog's stats to see which posts are getting read and which are getting ignored. I'm the Glenn Close of blogging - you all better read my shit or you'll come home to a bunny boiling on your stove. 

The blog stats are by countries, browsers, and operating systems. I even have pie charts because somehow google just knows how math retarded I am and really, everything makes more sense in a pie chart. Plus, it reminds me of pie, and everyone loves pie; therefore, everyone loves their math in pie charts. 

Here's big news - The majority of my blog posts are coming from the US, but the second place is..............Germany! Kiss my ass, David Hasselhoff! There's a new American for Germany to love. I didn't even have to eat a cheeseburger while rolling around drunk on the floor. But it shows also that there is one sweet little peep representin' from Romania. (Anyone know how to say peep in Romanian?) I'm sure he or she is multitasking while standing in the freezing cold bread line to follow my blog. Romanians are nothing if not perseverant. I assume. I've never been to Romania. I don't know any Romanians. I can't even tell you where Romania is, but I imagine it looking a lot like Russia in all the cold war films we watched circa 1984. 

When it gets split up by browser, it gets a bit confusing. Apparently more people are accessing my blog via Firefox than IE or Safari or Chrome (or whatever the hell Opera is; I'm assuming that's my little Romanian). Firefox isn't the go-to browser for most people. The IE monopoly is the expected default, and there are always those little defiants who defect to Safari or Chrome, but who the hell is using Firefox? That scares me a bit. I fear that my blog is being read and spread about by children or people in prison. Or worse, children in prison. Is that even legal? For them to read my blog, not the part about them being in prison. I don't care if children are in prison. I think I would actually prefer it.

The operating systems is equally curious. It goes windows, iPad, Macintosh, Linux, Android, compatible. I understand Windows and iPad. I don't get Macintosh. Are we talking the dinosaur Macintosh's we used in school during "computer sciences" class? Are people saving my blog to a floppy disk? Are they "booting up" their computer to access my blog from prison (or Romania)? Wouldn't it just be a generic Apple category for the iPad and the so-called Macintosh? And WTF is compatible? If it's not in one of the other categories, I think that actually makes it NOT compatible. Again, I think of my staunch Romanian, battling the cruel winds of communism to keep up with me. (I don't know if Romania is still communist. Hell, I don't know if they ever were. Where the hell is Romania, anyway? Like where Dracula was from?) 

Whatever. I don't discriminate against any of my loyal blog followers, be they old, ugly, poor, hackers, or communists. I love you all. Just keep thinking about my Romanian and how hard it must be for him/her, and if he/she can do it, I know you/he/she can, too.