Witless Wednesday

I really haven't had anything interesting happen to get a good blog post going. I really try, too. I try to think of ways I can create funny situations. I wonder if it would be really funny or really painful if I fall down the stairs. But then I think that I'd probably just mess up my wrists and I wouldn't be able to blog about it, anyway. (Not to mention I'd be getting no work done, either. I know, I know.....the whole Disability Scam. As far as I can tell, though, I would have to spend time in a government building, similar to DMV, and I'd rather work than do that.)

Speaking of DMV, those of you from Arizona may remember for a while there they were giving licenses with a 30-some year expiration. I have not lived in the state of Arizona for over 6 years, but I still have (and use) the license I got when I was about 25 years old. Why? Many reasons.
1. I'm too lazy to go to DMV anywhere else and "surrender" it. Why do they say you have to surrender it, anyway? Like I was holding it hostage and they finally talked me down?
2. I like the picture of me 15 years ago, pre-pregnancy and pre-30's. That was a good time for me and a very good look for my license.
3. Like when I was actually at DMV with my son getting his permit and the lady was a royal bitch (even bitchier than most at the DMV) and when she asked for my ID and saw it, I could tell she wasn't impressed. She asked, "Don't you live here?" I said, "No, he lives with his father. I specifically took time off work and came to town from out of state to help my son get his permit today, which you seem intent on preventing." (He got his permit)
3. I enjoy when do-gooders at the store think they're being careful and ask to see my photo ID. They get confused, then they look at it, barely look at me, and say, "okay." WTF do they mean, OK? They should be declining every transaction I try to make. I do not look ANYTHING like my 25-year-old license picture! How is that supposed to be a valid photo proof of anything I do for the next 20 years (which I intend to find out as I have no intention of getting a new one until it expires, which isn't until 2035)?

We have been watching The Voice for 2 seasons, and as much as I heart Adam Levine, find Cee Lo entertaining, and all around love Blake, Christina Aguilera is an annoying narcissistic bitch. I do admire being able to see how fat she's gotten. I have absolutely no problems with people getting fat. Hell, I'm nowhere NEAR the beanpole I was when I was in my Arizona driver's license prime. Let's face it: Food tastes much better when you know you're not going to try to exercise it off. Anyway, I find it interesting how Christina proudly flaunts her curves (especially boob curve 1 and boob curve 2) and last night her tank top dress really caught my attention. How does one wearing only a thin cotton tank top hold up those monumental melons? Having the freedom of a home office and only myself to police any office shenanigans, I decided to implement no bra day today. What I thought would happen would be a fun and relaxing day without underwire, straps, or back fat. What I discovered, however, is that all that freedom doesn't mean shit when you have to manually manuever the girls back into place every time you shift positions or try to type a sentence. Boobs without bras are like puppies with free reign - There are just no boundaries and only chaos remains. So I still don't know how Xtina pulls it off, but I don't think I'll be letting my own set have another free for all anytime soon.