There are a LOT of words I don't like. Succulent and moist are right up there at the top. I also hate the way everyone on TV now says "Loovull" whenever they're talking about Louisville sports, like they've got a mouthful of something succulent or moist. But though I wouldn't say it out loud in everyday conversation, titillating is one of those really fun ones to read. It feels like you're saying something graphic or dirty, and who doesn't enjoy that?
By the way, these are just a bunch of random thoughts that don't quite make up a coherent, full blog post, but I still feel the (probably foolish) need to share. I did warn that these topics are terrible, and it's probably just going to get worse. I'm getting hard up for decent topics. Sometimes I worry about not updating my blog for days and days, afraid my followers will be in wordsy withdrawal, on the edge of their seats, or maybe even the edge of a rooftop if you're a really devout follower (which I'm pretty certain none of you are, but everyone has dreams). I almost wish I had a daily topic to discuss and expound on, but that also feels a bit too much like homework, and I don't really care for other people telling me what to do, even if it's really myself in a bossy mood.
After two years in this house, we finally got our deck built and it's awesome 'cuz now we finally have a back door. We always did have a back door, but it's been permanently locked since it opens directly into nowhere. Now that we have the deck, it's almost magical the way we can use this previously useless opening as a portal to the great backyard. Unfortunately, my dog is stupidly stuck in the notion that it's a "no go there" black hole and refuses to walk through it. She looks at us with sheer panic as we try ever so nicely to convince her she won't fall into some unknown black void and I'm pretty sure she thinks it's a direct portal to Hell and she is definitely NOT falling for that (no pun intended).
I have discovered Snapple's Half 'N Half flavor is really, really tasty, but I'm equally perplexed each time by the mention that it's "naturally flavored with other natural flavors." Isn't that defining itself by its own definition? It seems like some kind of word paradox, not unlike the one my dog fears from the back door. I also rediscovered the wonder that is Cup A Soup (not the fake chicken noodle kind, but the ramen kind with fake carrots). Why is it we all think of ramen as the necessary foodstuff of poor young adults, but Cup A Soup with its freeze-dried peas and shrimp feels downright sophisticated? (p.s. I am afraid of the freeze-dried shrimp and pick them out before I eat.)
Finally, I wonder if anyone else knows that if you put your gum (yes, already chewed) in the fridge, it will get its flavor back the next day. My son had a huge Blowpop last night that he decided to start destroying his teeth with at about 9:30. I told him to finish it and brush his teeth, and he said it was gonna take him a long time to finish. I told him to put it back in the wrapper ("Can't. Threw it away.") and then suggested he stick it on a plate. Every time I've walked by that gross bright green cavity-on-a-stick today, I've been reminded that when my sister and I were younger, we used to put our 'no more flavor' gum in the butter compartment. There weren't many days when there wasn't some pink or green clump of chewed gum sitting in our fridge. I don't know why or how we started doing that, but once you popped that hard piece back in your mouth and started chewing, voila - flavorful again (or so it seemed). Maybe it had to do with the fact that my dad always kept his carton of ciggies in the fridge to retain the freshness, so we just made that mental A to B jump that it would work for gum, too. I wonder why I never passed on this particular culinary gem to my own kids, but then I remember my poor germaphobe husband and the heart attack he'd suffer if he ever opened the fridge to find ABC gum looking back at him, which, of course, leads me to wonder, once again, how much torture I like to inflict on him, and I start to reconsider. Now I also wonder how many people reading this actually grew up with me and my crazy family and have just now realized that at one time or another, they probably ate out of our gross germy gum fridge, and that makes me smile, too.
See? Don't say I didn't warn you. Terrible AND titillating.
p.s. Don't pretend you aren't dying to know what next day gum tastes like now. Go ahead and sneak it in your fridge tonight. I won't tell.
Queen of my own Magic Kingdom, full of all the irreverent, obnoxious, and sometimes offensive sarcasm you know and love. I don't care what people think of me, but I do care if you like my blog. Read, forward, repeat.
