Branden has a new friend who lives in the apartment above us. It's pretty funny when he comes over 'cuz he can stay for usually 45 minutes to an hour and always calls his dad to tell him he's on his way home. We joke about what the hell his dad thinks is gonna happen to him on the way up the stairs, but it's easy to forget how Jay used to peek out the window and watch him EVERY time Branden went 3 houses down to see if his friend could play at the old house. EVERY time.
We were @ Target this weekend and left to drive down the shopping center to Petsmart. When we were walking back to the car, I noticed Justin wasn't right behind me anymore. I felt like the mother chicken in the old cartoon counting them all, lifting my petticoats to make sure one wasn't hiding under there....1, 2, 3......1, 2......BWAK!!!!! Where's #3????? I get to the car and tell Jay I don't know where Justin is. He tells me, "I told him he could walk." I said, "You told him what??? He could walk WHERE?" "To Petsmart." "Why would you tell him he could walk there?" Jay looks at me like I'm speaking French. "Because it's RIGHT. THERE. And he'll probably get there faster than we drive there. What do you think is going to happen to him?"
Of course, I think EVERYTHING is going to happen to him. I think he's going to get hit by a car. I think he's going to get lost. I think he's going to get kidnapped (and he just got a haircut an hour ago, and we wouldn't have a recent picture of him to put on the milk carton, and there really aren't milk cartons anymore other than organic milk cartons and no one pays the $5/gallon for those so who would see his outdated face on those anyway?).
Keep in mind, he's 12. Also keep in mind where WE all went when we were 12. Hell, I was babysitting infants and small children alone. I was riding my bike along major streets in our city to go to Circle K to buy candy & soda w/my friend at least a mile away, then we'd go to a school ANOTHER mile away to sit and hang out. Our parents had no idea where we were. We could've been a good mile away in any direction at any given time, and it was perfectly fine. But not for this generation.
As we're driving (which I admit does take us way longer than Justin, and he's really not that quick) and I spot his blonde head & trademark bouncy step, I feel that little freaky mother panic monster slowly slipping back into place and I start to relax. Until Jay pulls alongside him and says, "Justin, you can't take your drink into the store. Bring it over to the car." and then drives off to a parking space.
"Are you crazy???? Now he has to cross the road w/all those cars coming and going! He has to come through the parking lot! No one is watching for him! Why would you make him come near all of these moving cars! Do you seriously not care about your own child? He's really not an 'extra!' We had three on purpose, not two and a spare!"
That is why wives are mean to husbands. We know deep down they secretly think children are disposable and would enjoy nothing more than to just make more and more of them every day.
Queen of my own Magic Kingdom, full of all the irreverent, obnoxious, and sometimes offensive sarcasm you know and love. I don't care what people think of me, but I do care if you like my blog. Read, forward, repeat.
