(This is actually a repost of an old blog I had a few years ago, but I've hit another writer's block right now so as we approach Black Friday, I thought this was appropriate to bring up again.)
He sucks.
Seriously.
Why do we continue to perpetuate this myth of Santa? Why do we still feel it's appropriate to buy our children gifts, hide them until Christmas, sit up until the early morning hours wrapping and/or putting things together, all so we can continue the lie that some stupid fat old man is gonna break into our home in the middle of the night and drop off gifts?
We got the boys a PS2 this year. They have wanted this for a long, long time. We bought them a bunch of games to go with it, and encouraged relatives to do the same. They will get some other little gifts, but this will be the doozy. So why should I have to watch this imaginary guy get all the credit and I get to put MY name on some socks and underwear?
Don't we try to teach our children not to lie? Isn't it a common belief that lying to our children only harms them in the future when they learn they can't trust us? So on this day when we're frantically running our butts off trying to find THAT perfect gift on their list, why do we willingly defer to S.C. as the victorious giver?
Then there's the Santa as punishment. "Watch out - Santa's watching you." "Better not fight with your siblings - Santa can see you." Why don't my kids care if I see them fighting? Heck, they've been raised that their very eternal soul is on the line each and every day based on the choices they make in this life, yet one mention of SANTA and suddenly perfect angels they become.
Then there's the question of how he does it all. I know a lot of people have developed various explanations for how Santa get in the house. Never mind the fact that we're making our children gullible dorks by convincing them that not only does this man who THEY'VE NEVER MET know them by name, but he knows what they want and manages to deliver all the right gifts to all the children of the world in one little sleigh on one short night. Then we convince them that he also manages to squeeze his big ol' butt down a chimney WITH THE GIFTS and then somehow squeezes back up? First we had the magic bullet, now we have the magic St. Nick. We usually tell our kids there's no such things as ghosts, but he can fly all night w/deer and go in & out chimneys no wider than his fat head? To make it worse, those without chimneys make up something even more ridiculous - Santa has a key. Santa can open the door. Santa sneaks in a window. So basically we tuck our children into bed with the notion that some strange dude will be breaking and entering at some unknown point in the night, but it's okay 'cuz he's bringing gifts.
We need to form a united front and banish Santa! Let US take the glory for the presents we work so hard to find! Let US be the ones who are responsible for that look of wonder and excitement on our children's faces. Each of us needs to be acknowledged as a supermom or superdad, and tell Santa to take his fake sleigh and his pretend gifts and kiss off!
Queen of my own Magic Kingdom, full of all the irreverent, obnoxious, and sometimes offensive sarcasm you know and love. I don't care what people think of me, but I do care if you like my blog. Read, forward, repeat.
