This was our conversation this morning, just your typical, average, run-of-the-mill Sunday morning. Jay was bending down to pick up a piece of paper and Mellow was on the bookshelf above him.
Me: She's cleaning herself right above your head. I think she just dropped ass flakes on you.
Jay: What the hell are ass flakes?
Me: Cats don't wipe their butts so I'm sure little leftover poop gets stuck on there and gets all hard. Ass flakes. Now they're probably in your hair.
Jay: Nah, they're probably in my moustache. I'll taste it later.
Me: Ewww!!!! It'll start to smell!
Jay: I'll be driving to work and the heater will heat it up. I'll be looking around, wondering what the smell is.
Me: Like little pieces of chocolate that you drop on your shirt and as they warm up they smear!
Jay: I'll be rubbing my face, just rubbing smears all over, get it in my eye. I'll have to go to the doctor and he'll wonder how I got poop in my eye. Red eye pink eye. They'll wonder what I was doing that close to an actual colonoscopy.
I swear I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.
Queen of my own Magic Kingdom, full of all the irreverent, obnoxious, and sometimes offensive sarcasm you know and love. I don't care what people think of me, but I do care if you like my blog. Read, forward, repeat.
